Thursday, September 30, 2010

Boys Are Incipient Harassers.. and Where This Thinking Leads

The field of "Education" is more complex than most people think. It is very feminized, and very political. American education went leftist about 100 years ago when gentleness, conformity and equality became the goals. Teachers weren't looking to raise a mix of all types, but simply a nation of drones who were happy workers.  

As feminism became a popular flavor of leftism, the idea that all men were inherent abusers and harassers took hold. We've all heard how this came to a head with campus demonstrations; postings of innocent young men's names and faces with the moniker "Potential Rapist!" emblazoned in scary lettering. This hasn't affected the overly aggressive men; men who always chase women and pursue random sexual adventures, but it has changed the dating world for most men, and relationships for the worse.

It's not a good thing when American young men are raised to believe our White Founding Fathers were all racist oppressors who abused women and people of color. It's not good when all our successful presidents are seen as bumbling fools who simply victimize the weaker people of the world while polluting the environment. Ordinary white guys see themselves as the children of an unholy legacy of slavery, oppression, sexism and homophobia. 

If you've been raised through the public school system, you haven't been taught that your legacy is one of freedom, enlightenment and humanism. You are taught that "men need to work on themselves". You are taught about rape statistics, and how men abuse women in relationships. You are taught that any traditional or religious-based roles for men and women are oppressive and harm women. 

In the dating world, there is a lot of sex going on. The good looking guys from wealthy families seem to be fucking every woman in sight. If you meet a girl you like, its a good bet she's had about nine sex partners before you, and keeps in touch with half of those guys. These very same girls graduate and immediately get great jobs and start shopping, traveling, and living the good life. Where were those girls who wanted that "one special guy" ?  We'll, she grew up learning that all men are the same, and none of them are any good, so why not just be a super slut until you find a rich guy later in life?

Our enlightened, progressive approach to culture and society has demonized and disheartened men. They are expected to be leaders and heroes, yet we are remaking our political and professional landscape ever more amenable to women and feminine sensibilities.  This has gone so far in the USA that religion and education are completely dominated by women, and men aren't welcome. 

Where all this leads is predictable. Women still want to be mothers, but you cannot put off childbearing until age 39 and expect the population not to decline. No, women are having less children as they more and more take up the role of breadwinner. More education as well equals less children. Meanwhile, men are either panicking or adapting. More and more men are working one job, and another off-the-books. Many are going underground, or simply Breaking Bad. Lots of former managers, programmers and accountants are cash-only workers, marijuana growers or thieves. 

If you make the women into men and let them live a couple generations Sex & The City, the progressive culture will collapse on its own. A more traditional system will take over and dominate the culture. It could be Islam, fundamentalist strains of Christianity, or simply a more pragmatic traditionalism. A culture cannot trash-talk the legacy of it's heroes, institutions and male children for the sake of political fads. Leftist Progressivism and Feminism upset the balance, and Mother Nature is beginning to self-correct. It could be messy.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Going Ex-Pat?

How would you like to become a perpetual tourist?  An ex-patriate?  How about leaving everything behind and living the life of your dreams, free of family and friends and everything familiar?  It could happen to you?

Most of the guys that expatriate are not very smart. The British are punished heavily with taxes and many of them leave for Europe where they live on savings and whatever work they can find. In Europe, they seek out other Britons and ask about home teams, neighborhoods, people  other tourists may know.  It's pathetic. Why leave home if you are so miserable you can't function? 

Other (mostly men) guys leave their home countries and travel extensively. I've known people who have returned to India only to find they are too Americanized to fit in. Others go to Malaysia or the South Pacific and find themselves bored after a few years.  There is only so much scuba diving you can do. 

Now, I know many of you will say "But wait! I know So-and-So who is having a great time overseas without taxes or politics!"  If you realize what you are seeing, it isn't anything to celebrate. A few guys manage to survive overseas, but it isn't the majority.  There are hundreds if not thousands of men who steal or embezzle enough money to live without working, and many of them leave the United States every year. A very high percentage of them commit suicide, or live a life of misery as a deeply depressed alcoholic. The numbers aren't pretty. 

I worked for years in high-tech and I knew personally a dozen or so guys who left the United States for the Caribbean. Many of them survived for quite a few years. Now, I see their websites coming down; their personal stories no longer posted for everyone to see. Wherever you live, the taxes will always go up, the government will always hire incompetent meddlers to regulate your life into hopelessness. The gravy train never lasts.

If you do think opportunity is better elsewhere, then pack your bags and head off in search of your fortune. I'm not a fan of becoming an ex-pat. If anything, being a perpetual tourist with business worldwide is the best option. No government is your friend; the women aren't any better overseas, the opportunities aren't any better. Take it from me. I've been an ex-pat, and a long-term tourist.  Staying where you are, and being as invisible as you can be is the best bet.


Tuesday, September 28, 2010

All About MGTOW, Part II


MGTOW is strongly defended by its followers, but it never seems to grow or make an impact on anyone. If you go back through the archives a few years, you'll see a flare-up here and there of very popular blogs and websites, and then things seem to cool off.

What's happening to MGTOW?  Don't men still need to make changes and improve the lot of their brothers? 

Not so much. What happens to these men is that they take girlfriends or they get married. They move on from being bitter bachelors and leave their blogs behind. Even very popular blogs such as Eternal Bachelor suddenly stop. You don't really think these guys are going to whine about women forever, do you?  No, people eventually move on and get on with their lives. MGTOW is simply an Internet reflection of what a small percentage of men go through on their way to settling down with a woman. There is very little support for men navigating the Sex & The City reality of today's dating. Most of the MGTOW folks I've had the opportunity to debate have not really been the types of men able to have success with dating and relationships; either through personality problems, social awkwardness or political/religious leanings. 

There will always be a small MGTOW movement, but it will change and mutate as time passes. There will always be a small group of divorced men and loners who will band together for support and sharing of experiences, but there is not organized movement. If anything, MGTOW, Men's News Daily, and forums such as those found on Happy Bachelor or American Women Suck will act as supports and buffers to the mainstream feminism's harder edges. Even now, there are significant numbers of women who follow the MGTOW crowd; mainly those who see their fathers and brothers not doing so well in today's social climate. 

In short, MGTOW is a reflection of the pain and anguish of a few thousand men in the West being very vocal and having too much time to spend on the Internet rehashing said pain. It's time to move on... 

All About MGTOW

MGTOW or Men Going Their Own Way, is a relatively recent phenomenon, but I'd heard about it going back as far as 2005. It's a pathetic movement attempting to encourage men to drop out of society, or to work against its current institutions. There are some MGTOW adherents who simply wish to live their lives out of the control of women; meaning no marriage, no long-term commitments, etc.  Of course, whether or not the movement is important to men in general is a moot point. 

From my reading, there are about 30 websites at any given time that are active and producing content that could be described as MGTOW-specific. Most of the writers are men who have been through divorces and have some degree of bitterness. A good deal of these guys hang out at the American Women Suck forum and talk about how badly they have been treated by women, and their dysfunctional approach to dating and marriage. Some of them are in relationships, but many of them seem to be presenting a fantasy life to their readers. Some are conspiracy nuts, blaming Jews for all the world's ills. Others are internationally known businessmen (or so they say), and then there are those who spend every day traveling or scuba diving. 

Perhaps the best example of the MGTOW literature [sic] is Darren Blacksmith's Mirror of The Soul. As a mysterious international businessman and playboy, he is masterful at building companies and managing the people in his life as he jets from one country to the next; always sampling great cigars or enjoying a nice single-malt by fireside.  The crowd that follows this rubbish are those who are unsuccessful with women and dream of one day becoming the imaginary character that Darren suggests he really is. 

It's amazing to me that men have made the worst mistakes possible in this new gender war. Did feminism do damage? Of course it did. Should single men sit at home reading about an imaginary 007 life that will never happen?  Probably not. 

Men and women both have the option these days to live independently and not have children. Thirty years of sleeping around is now possible; clearly the dream of lots of men and women. This new liberation has destroyed the nuclear family and literally shattered many families and communities, but it is reality, and it will not change. We won't ever go back to a traditional society, and dreaming of being lone wolves while looking down on everyone else is no solution.

Of course the audience for MGTOW is very small. The advocates are helpless and friendless.  Don't believe me?  Get into a discussion with them. Join up and be part of the discussion. You'll soon find yourself in with anti-semitic conspiracy fans, middle aged con artists and spotty youths planning their imaginary adventures.

Do I think MGTOW has merit? I do think you can opt to live your life outside the confines of a traditional marriage, and you can really be cautious when opting to marry or have children, but feminism and our new social equality doesn't mean you have to withdraw and be antagonistic to all women. You don't have to flee to the South Seas or hole up in the Missouri mountains cussing out the Jews over your dial-up connection. 

Sometimes life is what it is, and you cannot be part of an organized resistance with less than 500 bitter fools typing away as your army.  Until the return of more traditional mores in the West, MGTOW and other men's movements are nothing but flanks of a feminist army; keeping men down, distracted, dreaming, or just plain stupid. 

Saturday, September 18, 2010

A Married Man's Saturday

He's relieved to have the week over, but he is suddenly awakened by the dog who needs to go outside to do its business. Will "Cupcake" get up and handle this minor annoyance? Hell, no she won't. So, Mr Husband gets out of bed to take Cupcake's dog out for the morning bathroom break. 

Of course it has been raining so Mr. Husband will have to bring a towel to clean Rover's feet before he comes back into the house. In the meantime, Cupcake has risen and sees the trash hasn't been taken out. As Rover comes in, Mr. Husband is given a large bag of trash way overfull with old food and garbage. It is so overloaded he has to hold it like a giant garbage pail and haul it around to the side of the house.

Oh my! Cupcake has already overloaded the trash, so much so that the lid won't close. This means the trashmen won't take it. Damn! So, Mr. Husband has to leave the trash unattended while he enters the garage through the house to get another trashcan and something to tie up the overstuffed bag. When the chore is finally complete, Mr. Husband has spent about 20 minutes in the cold wet yard.

Coming in, he has to make his own coffee, his own breakfast, and cannot even read the news online because Cupcake is downloading hip-hop albums. He cannot watch television because Cupcake is watching a television series about the Kardashian family. It is all female, all the time. 

Finally, he resigns himself to taking a shower and getting on with the day. Freshly dressed and ready to go, Cupcake jumps in the car with him. He was running to Home Depot, but now there are several ladies shops to visit because Cupcake has COUPONS!!  So, it's off to Chico's and Macy's and a quick stop at the fabric store to get accessories for the jacket she is sewing buttons on. 

Mr. Husband's 20 minute trip turns into about 3 hours, most of it spent silently waiting for Cupcake to finish shopping. Still, it's time for lunch and the couple is out and about. How about eating out?  There is a great place for wings and beer, but Cupcake wants to go to La Madeline where she can get an egg and sprouts sandwich.  Oh well, he suffers through this.

At least Mr. Husband has the football game that starts at 2:00pm.  He gets home, starting to feel happy for the first time that day. Suddenly, the doorbell announces the arrival of Cupcake's sister and her three children. They want to watch Shrek, so the big TV is out of the question. Mr. Husband goes off to the bedroom to watch the game. After about ten minutes, Cupcake comes to announce that she and her sister are going out for a while. Could Mr. Husband watch Shrek with the kids instead?

Finally at about six in the evening, Cupcake comes home and the sister leaves with the kids. Cupcake orders a pizza and Mr. Husband gets to have two slices. Gee, what a great Saturday.  

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Men and Women Under Islam

I think our friend here is on to something. Islam may not completely cover the earth, but it may come very close. 

Islam has very strict guidelines for women. They must be modest, focused on caring for husbands and children, and their freedom is to be limited. If we contrast this with our views in the West, our women are sexually free, very competitive with men in the business and political arena, and very often believe firmly in major tenets of feminism. 

With our secular West embracing multiculturalism and leftist intellectual fads, Western men have become somewhat emasculated at a time when Islam represents a very serious and valid challenge to our Western values. 

Gone are the days of the special relationship between the sexes based on mutual respect and responsibility. Our unbalanced societies teach our women to be as sexually promiscuous as gay men, as hardworking as Japanese hard-drinking career men, and still expecting men to be perfect. As a result of the artificial elevation of women in the West, men are being displaced to some degree. The West is softer, more accommodating, and Western men are treated more as suspects than partners.

Advantage: Islam.

In Islam, there is no equality, there is no feminism. Women cannot choose to be childless or unmarried. They cannot choose to adopt feminism and laugh at men and any traditional leadership roles men have. This isn't necessarily a disadvantage. Islamic women have babies, many Western women do not, and spend a lifetime producing nothing but taxes for the state which gives the money to Islamic women who birth even more babies. 

Aside from the obvious abuses in the social welfare state, men actually have de facto and de jure leadership in Islam, something taken from them in post-Christian secular states. This is what we in the computing world call a fatal error.  Multiculturalism demands Western men be emasculated and controlled, while Muslim immigrant men are respected and accommodated. This is not the work of traditional Western men, but that of the softest Western men and the most misguided Western women. 

Unfortunately, within 25 years it won't matter. Europe will be lost to Islam, and the USA will have a low-grade civil war on its hands. The Secularists and the Muslims on one side, the Redneck Christians on the other. Are Western women willing to give everything away?  The Secular Men are ready to surrender if necessary.  

It would be a shame if the future of Christendom was up to a few million Rednecks with pickups and shotguns, but it may just come down to that.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Women Never Move On

Since age 35, I've had about 12 relationships if memory serves me right. In two of the relationships, I wasn't really ready to even get into a dating relationship, so I backed out quickly.  For the majority of the women, it was a few months to a few years. 

In every single relationship, the women were still hung up on the last boyfriend or ex-husband. I dated one named Abbie for almost three years. We were happy in just about every way, but she kept in touch with her old long-term boyfriend by phone. When we broke up for a few months, she went out to lunch with him to keep the connection open. I realized I'd always be the runner-up to this guy she used to love (and probably still did), so I told her how I felt, and moved on. 

Did she love me? Maybe she did, but I never felt it was a good thing to be with a woman who always looked back at that one guy she always wanted to be with for the long term. I never wanted to be the guy that a woman settled for.  

Women won't tell you if you aren't her first choice. 

Lisa told me she loved and adored me, but T.J. was always her first choice. Even though he was married and only saw her on the side, she always made it clear how much she still loved him. She told me something different, but was never happier than when she was thinking about him.

Ava loved Paul and couldn't let go, even though he had long since remarried and moved on. He had two children with his new wife and had no interest in Ava. Still, I had to listen to all these stories about how wonderful he was, and how she had feelings for me, but nothing like what she had with him.

Hayley was really attractive and told me she was ready to meet a nice guy, but Aaron was always calling and she was still wrapped up in the drama of that relationship. 

Women are emotive, not rational, and love romance and drama. They will fight with you just to get attention, and the longing for an ex can be far stronger than the feelings they have for you. Most women won't admit this, but many will - if only to their friends.  My own ex-wife tells me she still loves me and misses me at times, even though I have no feelings for her. She loves her husband now, but her feelings for me didn't change at all.

The safest approach for a man is to enter into relationships if he wants to do so, but NEVER to marry. If you marry a woman over 35, you are marrying a woman who most often loves some other man more than you; someone who came before, someone more interesting or more successful.  In reality, the guy might be no different than you at all, but women always remember their exes happily, and very often will revisit those old relationships.  

Women wonder why there are no men willing to commit, and lots more older bachelors avoiding marriage at all costs. Well, if they weren't so often living in the past, they could be happier in the present. 

Sunday, September 12, 2010

The Fall of Greece

If you've kept up with the news lately, you probably saw how the Greek government is in hot water from overspending and overexpanding the government. There are a lot of government employees and lots of very high taxes. Of course, Greece will rise again when they get their national debt under control and restore a better balance between the public and private sector. But hasn't something like this happened before?

Something similar did happen back in the days when the Romans occupied Greece. The Romans were highly respectful as they had admired the Greeks, so the occupation wasn't entirely unpleasant. Still, the Roman occupation created a situation in which the Greeks had time to turn their energies to art, philosophy, music, and leisure time. It became a very egalitarian society and women were raised up to equal parity with men....and women decide to stop having babies. 

Many observers of the time admired women for their independence and contributions to the arts, theater and civic life, but started worrying that fewer and fewer children meant the eventual fall of Greek civilization. Eventually, most of the ancient Greeks disappeared and the remaining ones bred with barbarian tribes. Equality is great, but doesn't help if a society disappears.

What Women Want...

They will never directly tell you what they want. When they are young, they long for sex and babies, but they won't reveal this. Most young girls are romantic and sexual and want children. They are taught not to say they want this, but to toil long and hard hours so they can serve a career. 

Once they achieve a career, the rewards include travel and sex partners, and most of all, shopping. Shopping is almost like a religion with women. Having lovely things around all the time means shopping must be going on. Shopping is made possible by working, so having a job is its own reward. 

In other words, women want sex and love and possibly babies, but career comes first because shopping and showing off is more important. Don't believe it? Then why are women so obsessed with celebrities? Why do they dress for other women to see? If you look at them realistically, you'll see the vast majority of women are very superficial and only want nice things and money to go shopping. 

When it comes to men, if he is basically pleasant and has a smile on his face, he'll do. Of course he has to be rich or at least very successful. If he is not, then he better be extremely good looking or incredibly good in bed. Men tend to look for a very special girl, in a romantic way - someone who reaches them on a spiritual level. Women tend to have sex with any guy has a smile on his face and a drink in his hand. 

Women do not forgive poverty. I know at least five guys who were dumped because they weren't successful enough. One is a dentist, one a photographer, several work in high tech, and one is a home appliance repairman. Each one is a homeowner with an average income. Still, it wasn't enough. Their wives divorced them and went looking for something better, so they would have more money to spend. Of course, most guys just earn an average salary, so some of the wives came crawling back when they couldn't find a rich man. Luckily none of them were taken back by their ex-husbands. 

Women do forgive cheating. I'd talked to many women in the dating world who experienced cheating. They say it felt like the biggest betrayal in the world. Still, they forgive the men either right away or after a very short time. Cheating means the guy likes to have sex, and there is nothing more exciting to a woman than a man who is blatant about sex. Women used to adore Bill Clinton because his type is overt about sex. They don't hint about it, they want to go into a closet and start humping right now. 

I dated a woman once who was dumped by a guy who cheated on her. She still loved the guy and wouldn't accept that he was a long-time cheater, even though all her friends told her what they had seen. In her mind, he was still funny and charming, and just an all-around great guy. Pretty pathetic. 

All in all, women want to have fun and avoid responsibility. They will work if it means shopping and lots of sexual variety, and this is what the majority of women go for. They also make intentionally bad choices with men; trying to win players away from a players life, trying to reform a cheater, falling in love with a married man, etc.  Angela Fiori was right; women don't want a good man, they won't give a good man a chance which is why there are no good men left.

I'm not knocking the system that is in place, I just want young men to be aware of it. Know what women want, and don't make it your primary focus to give her what makes her happy. Women have come a long way, baby, and they only want to use you if you are wealthy or willing to be used up temporarily. The days of loving wives and dedicated mothers are long gone.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

The New Single Paradigm

Younger people in their 20s and 30s increasing fall into two categories. The smaller category marry young and have children, not putting career or sexual freedom above family. Usually, these folks are much more religious, or have a life perspective that promotes family and family ties over "finding oneself" or living a libertine life until age 35 or 40.

Unfortunately, more and more singles aren't taking the family-oriented route. More and more young people of both sexes are interested in having lots of relationships, sex partners, taking advantage of travel and the single life for as long as possible. This dramatically impacts fertility and family continuity. Waiting longer means fewer children and a growing culture antagonistic toward children. 

We see this antagonism in the New Single Paradigm. Lots of young single people that own dogs instead of having families. They frequent restaurants, movie theaters, art galleries, and endless numbers of bars. Life is a happy, drunken, sexual ride. It's like an endless summer from age 22 to age 35. Of course it is interrupted for some when a baby comes along, or the emptiness of the single life becomes too much to bear for those who feel deeply. 

Most of these NSP individuals see themselves as smarter than the masses. The NSPs delay marriage and enjoy lots of romantic/sexual variety. They are politically leftist, and parrot whatever they hear on television. They do not try to be educated, but pursue sameness with those around them. They watch the same television programs and listen to the same music; they vacation together and live their lives how mass media tell them. They are putting off having children if not foregoing forming families altogether. Family law makes this a smart move. Women don't have to accept male leadership, they simply dial 911 if they even have the smallest disagreement with a boyfriend or husband. 

The NSP model makes for lower fertility and an infantilized population. Men are still encouraged to be leaders and heads of households, but women's power is so inflated, men dare not exercise their proper role. So, you end up with emotionally volatile women with radically unreal expectations of men, and men very resistant to marry or be leaders. It's simply too dangerous to tread on women's legal and social status these days. 

And women wonder why men won't "step up" and be men like in the old days....

The rules are dramatically stacked against men these days, while the workforce is about 90% women-friendly. This turns men into very unserious players in a serious world. They tune out, play video games, drink too much, smoke marijuana, travel, enjoy life. Why be serious when women expect a very attractive millionaire that will supply all the income why women have legal control?  Most men cannot measure up to expectations, so they don't try. If they are pushed into a commitment, they don't give their best efforts because they aren't allowed to take the lead. 

So while Islam advances, and most conservative enclaves are growing, most young people are living the NSP life.  They grow up, go to school, and settle into a long pointless single life with dogs. If they ever do get married or cohabit, they have fewer children, and the majority of those children grow up in broken homes. Everyone works, taxes are much higher, families break apart, and the NSP becomes the norm. 

Gee, the "bad old days" were a hell of a lot better.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Killing Masculinity Early

Mark Steyn's brilliant piece on intellectual fads is worth a read. CLICK HERE to read. He shows how "educators" don't like it when children have a best friend, and how boyhood is medicated away.  The last lines of the article are chilling and clearly show what has happened; government increasingly taking control through psychology, education, and cultural leadership.

Quote of the Day comes from the last lines:
What to do? The state can, as Brecht advised, elect a new people – which the immigration policies of many western nations seem intended to accomplish. But you can also change the existing people, in profound ways and over a surprisingly short space of time. Give me a boy till seven, said the Jesuits, and I will show you the man. Give me a boy till Seventh Grade, say today’s educators, and we can eliminate the man problem entirely.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Invisible Men

Ralph Ellison wrote about being invisible. Being of a different race made him a non-person to the dominate White culture and it was a dehumanizing and evil thing to have to live with. He wanted change as a lot of decent people on all sides did in those days. 

Nobody wants change now, when it comes to the Battle of the Sexes, the women have won and are aided by politicians who are making sure the battle isn't only won, but that there will never be a rebalancing. Women are now 65% of university graduates and expanding into trade schools and other alternative careers. Government is compelled to hire women and minorities, and when they have a choice, they opt to not hire men. Many more employers prefer women as well. Even the private sector is trying to please our modern feminist sensibilities.

I did an experiment recently and went back to look how many guys I knew in high school who had made some sort of success in their lives. In all but three cases (out of 15), the guys were simply working from paycheck to paycheck. They were divorced, drinking, getting fat, watching too much television, etc.  The women I used to know not only were heavily into social media (Facebook, LinkedIn, etc.), but also had their own websites, businesses and were really successful. 

I've heard men need to grow up, to try harder.  Why? Women rule the workplace, the home, and the social environment. There is no need for men to advance. The point has been made that women are hypergamous, meaning they marry up. They want a man who earns more than they do, preferably double, so they can stop working and build a home.  But what happens when so many women are pulling ahead of most men? What happens when more and more men are jailed, underemployed, unemployed, and disillusioned?  What happens when the political elite are stuck on righting some sex imbalance in the workplace that never really was a problem until social engineering made it one?

Long-term idleness kills the male spirit. Men need to be active and doing work they can enjoy or at least tolerate. To give countless advantages to women seems counterproductive. Matriarchies never last. Women are too apt to make alliances with outsiders; alliances that are against their interests - in the name of being seen as egalitarian, or fair, or friendly. 

Still, more and more educational institutions are not interested in men's enrollment. If the majority of colleges had 80% female students, that would suit them fine. If public and private employers frowned on hiring men in many cases, how does the economy suffer?  It leaves societies strongest and most aggressive sex on the sidelines, making up their own rules without paying attention to the system. No, men just don't go invisible - they go underground. They work off the books. They save up and leave the country. They stop cooperating. This is the future of the West. Unlimited immigration from hostile nations, higher taxes and regulations, and a social preference for women to dominate. Meanwhile, men will either become broken and useless, or only useful to themselves. 

It's happening now.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Dating Dynamics

I don't agree with the folks who believe you really have to go your own way (MGTOW). It's one thing to drop out of the traditional system. It's much more difficult to be a lifelong bachelor simply looking after yourself and having fewer social connections. People are naturally wired to be in a couple and having families, so it can be difficult to simply drop those desires and drives and simply be a single operator. 

I date, and I also get into relationships now and then. I'm currently single, but I usually get into short-term things and they usually work themselves out since I travel frequently and don't have time to settle down into a family household. When I date, I look for a few things:
  • I try to find women who are successful and have their own incomes. Successful women are interested in finding men who rival their income and their status. Since those men are rare, successful women will often have sexual relationships with clean, funny, attractive guys who aren't a good match, but can entertain them. 
  • Look for women who take care of their teeth, wear newer clothing, and are somewhat resistant to having sex. If she comes over to your house to watch a movie on the first date, and has her panties off that night, then she's too loose, and the danger of STDs goes up. 
  • I use eHarmony or similar sites to find dates. The cheaper the sites, the cheaper the women. Women on eHarmony are looking to have fun, fall in love, and have romantic "love" sex.  These women are usually hard pressed to find dates in bars or through friends as they are looking for magical romances like they see on Lifetime movies. These women will fly out to see you, have sex and then go home without commitment or regrets.  I've had sex with six women from eHarmony and when i'm not in any relationship I keep my membership up.
Remember, it's a Sex & The City world and you can have fun and not commit. Don't keep yourself celibate because it isn't a natural state.  Most men in the dating world are so ill-prepared, you wouldn't think they could ever get a date, but the truth is that if you are half-way functional, you can have all the girlfriends you can handle. 

One of the unspoken truths about sexual liberation is that women don't really want it. They want to be with a man who gives them regular sex. They are interested in being dominated and "owned" by one man. This is part of the natural neurological process that happens to women when they have sex. They are physically designed to be with one man only, which makes it nearly impossible for most women to move past a first husband or a long-term boyfriend. This drive, this longing to be with one special man who is completely devoted - drives women to commit to any man who appears to be ready to give this type of commitment. They will give ten years to a cheater, or twenty years to a wife beater just to have a man.  A horrible man is better than no man. 

Women seem to be more choosy, but they really aren't. The story of the fat nerd hooking up with a hot girl is much more common than you think. If you are assertive and make yourself available, you will have success.

Lots of Careers and Jobs

The US is going through a major recession. Banks are nervous about lending while businesses of all sizes are holding back on hiring or expansion until the tax and regulatory future seems more certain.  

With Democrats in power, there is much more of an affirmative action ethic to government hiring. Women, minorities, and professional leftists are de facto preferred.  Effective, hard-working men need not apply unless their politics favor the current administration. 

This is great news for single women seeking a professional career. As men are sidelined to make more room for ever more women, the marketplace is realizing women make better government workers. They don't make waves, don't try to change or improve the system, and take advantage of leave and maternity programs which make politicians look caring and open-minded. 

Meanwhile, the universities are struggling to attract young men who seem more interested in drugs, frisbee golf, or playing video games.  Fewer men are heads of families and no longer are moral or spiritual leaders in their homes, merely another paycheck who needs to mind his place. 

Interestingly enough, the dramatic inroads women have made in government and private industry have coincided with dramatic increases in prison incarceration rates of young men. More and more men are struggling to get by at the same time much more is expected of them. Part of this desperation is men cutting corners and doing stupid things to try and get ahead.  

Nobody remembers the boom-time of easy mortgages and no-income verification loans. Thousands of guys lost their jobs and spent time in jail for making fraudulent loans. Many other guys are in hot water for not paying half their income to the IRS on time, bouncing from one sales job to another. Even more are underemployed and mowing lawns or painting houses in their spare time for cash.

Whole neighborhoods are filled with single women with high-powered careers at major companies. More and more women are wondering where all the men are.  Where are the highly successful guys that are ready to date a six-figure earning woman?  Why do most guys want a woman who earns less?

The market and society doesn't care about these questions. Ordinary men are falling further behind economically, socially and spiritually.  Meanwhile, the opportunities for professional women are expanding dramatically.  This kind of imbalance doesn't last forever.

Monday, September 6, 2010

What Happened to All the Nice Guys?

When you are young, you naturally fall into a mindset that you will find someone special to be with. You'll be in a relationship with a great girl and do the falling-in-love thing.  You may eventually get married and have children or at least have a good long time together.

You can forget all that. 

I spoke to an older couple who have a son going to Vanderbilt University. They warned their son to be careful with girls and always wear condoms. Still, his experience was typical, having sex with lots of girls and the girls he had sex with had sex with lots of other boys too.  It's all a lot of fun until the fallout comes. Boys and men are able to have sex without any kind of emotional attachment, but girls are physically different.  They get attached - and very quickly.

Look at the hardness of women these days. They've had their female liberation and have sex with a variety of men, and even sometimes experiment having sex with women.  I've been out at restaurants having dinner and the waitress is very attractive, her body fit and youthful, but her face is hard and uncertain.  I've seen this face before back when I worked for the government.  During investigations we would often interview prostitutes or people from the street who hustled to get money.  That same face; the face of being emotionally connected to hundreds of strangers. 

These girls can't belong to single man, they belong to the dating scene, or to a group of rapidly changing promiscuous men.  They feel connection with one good man is too controlling, but they feel men only want them for sex - because they only allow pursuit from men who want sex.

This is all fine if you are interested in simply finding sex partners now and then.  If you are living a solitary life, it doesn't matter to you if women are sleeping around more than ever.  However, if you want a special girl all to yourself, well...  it probably won't happen.  You are living in the wrong decade, or the wrong century.

Guys love the sexual promiscuity of women these days, especially when they are dating. Every guy would like to have a bunch of women before settling down, then maybe a few clean safe affairs after marriage.  Still, if everyone is fucking everyone, the bond that is created by exclusive sex isn't nearly as powerful as it once was.  Women fuck the guys that they find exciting when they are young. When they are old, they fuck men who will pay their bills. Sex has turned into a commodity.  What hasn't changed is the need for an emotional bond.

As someone over 40, I cannot tell you how insulting it is to be approached by woman after woman who have nothing to offer. They've given all the best passion of their lives to men who don't even remember them.  The most special physical intimacy is lost in a sea of one-night stands and bar hookups.  

They still want the emotional relationship.  

So many realize they have missed out on that successful, easy-going guy who would have been an ideal husband.  When they find a guy like this, they go in for the kill.  I've had many of these formerly-promiscuous fat women chase me to the point of stalking. They call and call, email, leave messages, do texts, write letters, anything to get a response from me.  They tell me they are exactly what I am looking for, someone to love and take care of.  I know exactly what is going on, they want the emotional relationship.  They've given their youth and passion to guys who never would care for them, so now it's time to find a sucker to pay their bills and serve their emotional needs.  

I have women in my family and thankfully, they aren't like most women. Most are very conservative and in long-term relationships.  I don't hate women, but when I am dating, I only seek out women who share my values and have shared my values for most of their lives.  

Ever hear of a Death Bed Conversion?

A Death Bed Conversion is when a dying person decides to change his or her ways at the last minute to win forgiveness from friends and family, and to make peace with God at the last possible second.  Death Bed Conversions are intentionally dishonest.  They reveal the true character of a person in the inherent deception of the act.  It isn't a genuine conversion, it's a last minute thing, to try to win rewards that aren't deserved.  

This is what is happening with a lot of women over the age of 30 or 35.  They are ignoring men who would be good partners in search of exciting sex partners or fast-paced careers that leave no time for children or family. Suddenly, when their sexual attractiveness is gone and they are emotionally scarred from too many short-term hookups, they suddenly REFORM.

This REFORM is a complete death-bed-conversion. They aren't serious about changing their ways or rethinking their values, it's simply a time to adopt a new strategy.  They are too old now to continue doing hookups, yet too old to attract a good man who wants a family.  Many of them have grown fat as a result of poor diet and hormone-based birth control.  Others have children from different men, and have long since lost their looks and are desperately lonely because they made poor choices of partners. 

In short, the jerks and players got all the girls and the decent guys got the shaft.  Decent guys still need sex, so they can have short term girlfriends or do one-night stands, but they want to marry less and less.  I'm seeing more and more guys opting to live singly instead of marrying one of these fixer-upper girls.  Women who feel ripped off by liars and players want the good men to pay the bills for the bad guys. 

But what does this mean for a guy who doesn't care about all this?  What does it mean for a guy who accepts that women are much more slutty these days, and doesn't really care?  If you can forgive all that and get into a relationship with a woman who promises she is reformed, you have to realize it won't be as good as it could be.

No matter what people tell you, knowing your woman has been a slut is a huge turnoff for a man, even if she has reformed herself and is no longer a ho.  It will always be in her mind that what she gives you out of duty or reward, she gave to lots of other men for free.  The most special connection she can offer, she handed out to guys who only saw her as recreation.  Knowing this about her will be in your mind, it will change your perception of her.  When you are being honest with yourself, you'll know that nobody really wants this girl, and she isn't special, and that she's just using you because the men she really wants will not give her the emotional relationship she wants and needs.  

You are being used.  That's the way it is when everyone is fucking everyone.  The specialness goes away, and women choose the wrong men until they are too old to care anymore, then the "nice guys" finally get their turn.  The women love being wanted and having a good emotional relationship late in life, but when they think of sex, they aren't thinking of you - they are remembering that great guy they picked up in a bar who was sweet until he fucked and ran.  They are thinking of that hot shot who banged them on their office desk then broke off the relationship.

It's sad, and it's one of the main reasons men and women don't have those long-lasting traditional relationships anymore.  Men don't trust women to be anything but parasites, and women tend to be hooked on the bad boys until they are no longer desirable.  

There are women who aren't like this. I married a traditional woman who was a virgin when we met. The emotional and physical intimacy was much stronger than it has been with women since my divorce. I wonder how many men didn't have this experience.

Most men end up marrying a woman who has had sex with at least 3-5 other men, so they approach sexuality with a "been there - done that" attitude.  It's pretty sad some of the young men who get married and realize their new brides have already done every type of sexual thing in the book and are now ready to leave  all that fun stuff in the past and just have babies and get fat. 

There are those who say all this is part of feminism, but I think it is more a reflection of a lack of morality and tradition. People don't have boundaries anymore.  Our "sisters" are not constellating themselves and becoming the ideal partners they could be. They are still enjoying the freedom and sexual adventures, and our birthrates are down, men are falling behind economically, and there is far less trust and decency between the sexes.  

What happened to all the nice guys? Well, they don't get laid, and they aren't appreciated, so they've gone away.  The ones who remain are in their mother's basements playing Halo.  It's a time for Alpha Males and women who use sex for recreation.  Until Western Culture is almost devastated demographically, there will be no change.  In the meantime, its a better idea to simply have fun and not take women too seriously.  And why should you?  They don't take you seriously at all.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Who's the Bitch?

Women on average now earn more than men. If you are out there dating, you'll see it. I've been on dates with a woman osteopath, an attorney, a top insurance agent, and that's pretty much the norm.  They work hard and have prestigious jobs.  Still, a lot of them have no children and are running out of time to have them.  

I like dating these professional women because I'm not into it for the long term. I'm just there to have fun, get drunk and have sex. A high-earning professional woman will have a huge ego and so within a few weeks, she'll try to exercise her control and dominant personality. Usually there will be a small argument, and I'll end the relationship.  

Remember not to let the dominant sex rule your life. Men are always dominant, always in control.  If you can't match her income, romance her and have sex with her, but don't plan for a long-term relationship. Don't look for a relationship with a woman who will always make you the bitch, and always keep you subordinate. 

There is a reason why the high-earning and professional women are very often single; they are simply just a complete pain-in-the-ass to deal with.  Understand what they are before getting involved.