Since age 35, I've had about 12 relationships if memory serves me right. In two of the relationships, I wasn't really ready to even get into a dating relationship, so I backed out quickly. For the majority of the women, it was a few months to a few years.
In every single relationship, the women were still hung up on the last boyfriend or ex-husband. I dated one named Abbie for almost three years. We were happy in just about every way, but she kept in touch with her old long-term boyfriend by phone. When we broke up for a few months, she went out to lunch with him to keep the connection open. I realized I'd always be the runner-up to this guy she used to love (and probably still did), so I told her how I felt, and moved on.
Did she love me? Maybe she did, but I never felt it was a good thing to be with a woman who always looked back at that one guy she always wanted to be with for the long term. I never wanted to be the guy that a woman settled for.
Women won't tell you if you aren't her first choice.
Lisa told me she loved and adored me, but T.J. was always her first choice. Even though he was married and only saw her on the side, she always made it clear how much she still loved him. She told me something different, but was never happier than when she was thinking about him.
Ava loved Paul and couldn't let go, even though he had long since remarried and moved on. He had two children with his new wife and had no interest in Ava. Still, I had to listen to all these stories about how wonderful he was, and how she had feelings for me, but nothing like what she had with him.
Hayley was really attractive and told me she was ready to meet a nice guy, but Aaron was always calling and she was still wrapped up in the drama of that relationship.
Women are emotive, not rational, and love romance and drama. They will fight with you just to get attention, and the longing for an ex can be far stronger than the feelings they have for you. Most women won't admit this, but many will - if only to their friends. My own ex-wife tells me she still loves me and misses me at times, even though I have no feelings for her. She loves her husband now, but her feelings for me didn't change at all.
The safest approach for a man is to enter into relationships if he wants to do so, but NEVER to marry. If you marry a woman over 35, you are marrying a woman who most often loves some other man more than you; someone who came before, someone more interesting or more successful. In reality, the guy might be no different than you at all, but women always remember their exes happily, and very often will revisit those old relationships.
Women wonder why there are no men willing to commit, and lots more older bachelors avoiding marriage at all costs. Well, if they weren't so often living in the past, they could be happier in the present.
No comments:
Post a Comment